Module 1
The Dating Game
Let’s imagine…
Your well-intentioned best friend set you up on three blind dates. Let’s call them Date A, B & C.
Date A appears and you notice they are all dressed to the nines, making you feel a little underdressed. Then they start talking in a “surfer dude” accent and immediately your brain is confused. Surfer dude in a fancy suit? You’re a little curious, so you have a seat and start talking. Or should I say they start talking – about themselves. So much so that the server has already returned three times and Date A hasn’t even looked at the menu yet. Most of what they have to say is about how great they are (great at skiing, great at cooking, a sommelier, great at driving, etc.), so you tune out pretty quickly. When the server comes back the fourth time, your date orders for you without asking and says, “Don’t worry, you’ll love it.” Throughout the dinner you find out that your surfer dude date has never been out of the Midwest (which still doesn’t explain the accent) and thinks you should join the Fantasy Football league because “it would be the perfect group for you,” even though you have no interest whatsoever in sports. Just when you thought it couldn’t get worse, they start to get teary-eyed about a story they saw on Reddit about a dog that had been removed from a terrible situation and then found a sweet family with little kids. You think, “Hmm, okay, that’s maybe more heartfelt.” So you ask if they have ever had any pets, and their answer is “Ewww. No.” Date done.
Date B is…well…beige. Dressed all in beige, no facial expressions, doesn’t initiate any conversations and only responds in “yes” or “no” answers. Let’s just say it wasn’t an exciting date and it was a lot of hard work to try to learn anything about this person. You left feeling like you still don’t know anything about them and exhausted/frustrated from all the work YOU had to do.
You are questioning your best friend’s matchmaking ability, but you still agree to meet Date C. This time your date shows up wearing the same sustainable shoe brand you have on (crazy coincidence!). They are dressed nicely but have a little paint under their fingernails, showing that they were probably busy that day. Immediately, you fall into a rhythm of talking back and forth for the next couple hours. It feels like you already know this person even though you just met. You find out they have a rescue dog (like you) and just volunteered at the animal shelter on the Fourth of July reading to dogs who were anxious. You find out you both like local coffee shops, and they invite you to join their Saturday dog group that meets on the patios of different local coffee shops when the weather is nice, which sounds like so much fun. And the last half hour you spend swapping pet products you love, and you both leave with a list of new businesses to look up.
Now let’s translate these dates into brand experiences.
Date A is the brand that looks luxurious but maybe has some weird copy, product descriptions or blog posts that are not in alignment with a luxury brand. What they are really good at is telling you what you want. They assume they know you and tell you what you want, but you can see on their site that there’s a community of some kind but it seems very inactive. Their client/customer testimonials feel totally made up. But they do know that consumers are looking for businesses who are making an impact so they chose a charity to partner with, although they offer no explanation at all about why they partnered with that charity, why it is important to them or what they are even doing for/with that charity. You try to do a little research, find an About page but it only tells you, once again, how awesome they are with no real insight. From a neuroscience perspective, the fight-or-flight part of your brain is telling you that this doesn’t seem right and it’s telling you to not even bother, to fly.
Date B is the brand that has wiped all personality out of their business. Usually, they are trying too hard to be “professional”. It’s all stock photos and AI generated copy, and absolutely no About page. There’s no way to find out anything about this company. Again, your instincts are to fly.
Date C is the brand that you feel a kindred spirit with. They are a little imperfect but they are trying hard. You seem to speak the same language & their copywriting feels personal and like THEY are writing everything directly to you not just some “customer”. They showcase their other interests other than just trying to sell you products, and they are truly showing up for things they care about from the animal shelter, the coffee shop dog group, down to the sustainable shoes. Their community feels really engaged and dedicated to caring about some sort of cause they feel passionate about. They show up as a team-player who spends just as much, if not more, time sharing about other businesses who they also support and who align with their values. And even better yet, the conversation goes both ways, meaning they engage with their audience on various platforms in various ways (this varies on location depending on the audience and the business).
In the end, the question is, who would you buy from?
